Excessive tears as a sign of dysregulation and fragmentation
In my previous post I shared the benefits of tears. But too many tears, at inappropriate times, can also mean nervous system dysregulation and psyche fragmentation.
A fragmented psyche has parts within itself that are traumatised. These split parts stay the same age as and when you experienced the difficulties in early stages of life. They are literally stuck in the past. And with this, there is also nervous system dysregulation.
We have parts within ourselves that haven’t grown up. 1, 3, 5 ... years old parts, carrying with them the possibility of being triggered at any moment, while we go about our adult lives.
That’s why at times we surprise ourselves with reactions that don’t match certain circumstances. We can feel extremely intimidated and triggered in situations that can look simple to the untrained eyes. This is because younger parts of ourselves can suddenly take over.
Triggers = the past showing up in the present moment, in your body.
For instance, you can freeze when you need to speak to your boss to ask for a pay rise. This could be “your” 2 years old speaking.
When you have a problem with your finances and need to speak to your bank manager to sort it out, and suddenly you feel overwhelmed and can’t bring yourself to do it. This could be “your” 5 years old avoiding grown up responsibilities.
When you are feeling unseen and not understood by your partner, this could be “your” 1 year old resurfacing.
And it doesn’t end there, the split can go as deep as time spent in your mother’s womb.
We store these memories inside our bodies and psyche. That’s why overwhelm and tears can come at inappropriate times, as many situations we are trying to deal with as adults can be a trigger for un-integrated younger parts.
Thankfully your body knows how to self-heal. Integration of these fragmented parts is possible, in a safe space, with the right tools.
I will be opening a small, online, safe container (5 weeks, 5 people ) in the end of summer to heal these early identity and attachment wounds.
If you are interested in joining please sign up for my newsletter.
