Finding tiny moments of safety and connection

Many of us have not had good regulation growing up and are oscillating between fight, flight, freeze and shutdown.

For instance, in freeze or shutdown we can develop many survival strategies and it can seem, on the surface, that we are managing well. But what is really happening is a type of numbness and dissociation. This disconnection is an intelligent way the body learns to survive under long term overwhelming conditions.

This can also happen when people go through a long period of chronic stress. This oscillation is a result of a nervous system that is in a state of hyper vigilance.

For those of us who feel stuck in these loops, it can feel challenging to find moments of safety and connection.

If this speaks to you, please know that there is a pathway to bring you back to Ventral vagal (safety and connection).

Start by finding “Tiny moments” of safety. Inviting your body to “visit” the ventral state even if it’s for a few seconds at the time. No need to concentrate too hard.

A few seconds here and there throughout your day it’s a great start for a system that is overwhelmed.

Starting small will give your system a flavour of safety without threatening it with a state that feels unfamiliar.

Give it a try and I would love to hear how it goes for you. Please share your experiences.