Resources & how to use them (a common misconception)

You probably have read on my page some information about resources.

To recap: resources are simply gentle activities (that you use alone or with others in co-regulation) to help you feel more connected to your body, in the here and now.

With resources in place you know what to do when you feel overwhelmed and out of sorts. So the idea is to use these activities, as much as you are able to, instead of unhelpful survival strategies.

Resources are meant to help you get back into a state of regulation.

Example of resources can be: gardening, walk in nature, stretching, connecting with pets, connecting with friends, dancing, swimming, singing, praying, sunbathing etc...

I often ask my clients to have a list of resources that they can go to when things get difficult.
But I have been noticing that there is a slight misconception around this idea.

A resource is not something you do or use to make you feel amazing, peaceful and 100% calm. At times resources might actually achieve that. But this is not the main point of using them.

Resources are meant to be an extra support, aiding you to go through an activation. It’s important to keep in mind that having resources in place give you the ability to choose something different in the middle of a trigger, instead of acting out. It’s something you use to help you stay centred in your body instead of dissociating or falling into an old unhelpful loop.

If you have the belief that a resource is something you use to feel 100% calm, you may easily become frustrated, thinking your resources are not working or that you are doing something wrong.

Remember that sometimes a trigger can be quite strong and in this case a resource may not bring you ‘all the way down’. And it’s ok; still use it to help you tolerate the challenging bodily sensations the best you can.

You might not be able to feel 100% peaceful every time you use your resources. But you can rest assured that by using them you are indeed, bit by bit, reshaping your nervous system.