Crying and the nervous system

A young child cries and everyone quickly wants the tears to stop. Using distraction, giving him/her toys, offering food or the old-fashioned and still much used: “Stop crying”. Most adults are uncomfortable with their own emotions, thus a child strong emotions are too much to handle.

Additionally, for parents with a history of developmental trauma, crying will mean even a bigger trigger. Many emotional memories will resurface, and trying to self soothe and soothing a child at the same time can be a very challenging task.

This has nothing to do with your abilities as a parent, but it’s something to be aware of and to ask for support in healing these early attachment wounds. The truth is that crying is a huge self-regulation “tool”.

🔹Tears contain stress hormones. The act of crying helps release bottled up emotions. That’s why you often feel tired after a crying session. It relaxes you.

🔹 Tears have been shown to release Oxytocin and endorphins. Feel good hormones that help ease physical and emotional pain.

🔹Crying is self-soothing. It activates your parasympathetic nervous system, the part of the system that helps your digestion and rest.

🔹Crying restores emotional balance. You don’t only cry when you are sad. Stress, extreme happiness, fear and overwhelm can also cause tears. This is your body’s way of recovering from such strong emotions.
It’s ok to cry. I hope you can allow yourself the much needed relief through the tears.