Cultivating delight in your life

As children we relied on our parents for cues of how to act and react to people and life’s circumstances. In the first few years of our lives we also relied on our primary caregivers to regulate our nervous system (babies and very young children don’t have the capacity to self-regulate).

If the caregivers are feeling overwhelmed, disconnected or facing difficulties in life it is often the case that they don’t have the emotional capacity to receive and delight in our innocence and enthusiasm for life.

We slowly learn to numb our emotions, feeling that we don’t matter or that our aliveness is undesirable.

Some of us need to start “from scratch”. Something I see helpful with many developmental trauma survivors is the exploration of delight through connecting with nature, animals and the small things.

Note: This post is not an attempt to blame parents and caregivers. We live in a complex and traumatised society. Caregivers who have unresolved trauma struggle to cope. Not to mention cases of divorce, financial difficulties, mental illness, single parenting and many other complex issues. They did the best they could with what they had.

Being angry, sad and disappointed about your upbringing is also ok and part of healing. In the healing journey we eventually soften.

We each have the responsibility to commit to our own healing.

Taking a step to cultivate delight in the small things in life is an avenue worth exploring. You may be surprised at what you find. ☺️