Thawed tears

In our healing journey we will encounter periods of deep sadness and grief.
During these times we may feel we are going backwards. Or even wonder: “why am I “doing” all this healing for if I just end up hurting and feeling pain all over again?”

I have found that the tears we shed in these difficult periods are different. Although they are painful, they also hold a feeling of freedom, of finally recognising what is real and what is an illusion. Instead of blaming or shaming ourselves and others, we finally have the maturity to accept and see things for what they are. Life as is.

This is what happens when the “healthy parts” of ourselves start to strengthen and the “traumatised” and “surviving” parts start to integrate.

We have so many overlapping parts inside of us. They often conflict with each other, lie, pretend and fight amongst themselves.
As we start to access these parts, feeling them in a supportive and titrated way (in small doses) things start to change naturally. No need to think about it. They somehow integrate by themselves. I witness this so often in myself and in my clients too. The body and psyche knows how to integrate, if given the chance.

I have shed many tears and sometimes they still come. I had a period like this recently, while still integrating an IoPT(parts work) personal session from a few weeks prior. But it’s totally worth it, because the tears that come when your healing gets deeper are the “melting type” of tears. This type of tears wash over your soul. Together with the pain and grief you also feel so much compassion towards others from your past, self compassion, reverence towards life and gratitude for your life, a life that despite everything is definitely worth living.