Successfully engaging in family gatherings during the holidays (a trauma informed approach)

End of year is fast approaching and many are feeling the stress of family gatherings.

Family of origin is where we learnt our relational patterns. And we often have a push and pull relationship with them.

It’s important to realise that there are different parts of us that can co-exist at any given moment. So even though we may have parts that feel stressed, confused and under pressure when spending time with family. There may be other parts that enjoy and love our families. These parts can co-exist. This realisation alone can give permission to be with all of these parts, without judgment.

Here are 3 helpful pointers for the holidays:

1) Observe with self compassion and compassion for those involved in the situation.

Stepping into the role of an observer will create some distance between you and the ideas you have around your family, how you would like them to be and how you would like things to unfold during the festive season.

2) Letting go of the pressure of having to be and act a certain way during these social events. The observation practice (1) will help you with this. Silently ask yourself during family gatherings:

“ Can I just BE in this moment, lowering my expectations of people and myself?”

3) Use your resources as much as you need to before, during and after family gatherings.

If things get intense give yourself permission to move to another room, to go for a walk or take a few minutes break outside.

You can learn more about resources and how to use them in my “Resources” category here on this blog.

What resources will you be using during the holidays? I would love to hear.