Co-regulation as a shortcut to self-regulation

Nervous system regulation has become a catchy concept on Instagram; for a very good reason.

Physiological states affect thoughts, emotions, behaviours and perception of the environment.

So if you are dysregulated (“stuck” in fight/flight/freeze/shutdown) you can be experiencing unpleasant states, such as anxiety, sense of unease, panic, feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, disconnection etc...

But the opposite is also true.

When the autonomic nervous system is in a Ventral vagal state (regulated):

⚡️You feel safe.
⚡️You have better cognitive function.
⚡️Your body is in a state of health and growth.
⚡️You are more open to engage with others.
⚡️You feel more compassionate.
⚡️You are more resourceful.
⚡️You feel more connected to life.

Did you know that you can use a shortcut to get into more regulation?

It’s called co-regulation.

When you get in touch with others who are in their Ventral vagal state (more regulated), your nervous system begin to pick up cues of safety, and it will start to resonate with their nervous system, which will naturally downregulate yours.

So why not try!?
Next time you are feeling dysregulated, get in touch with someone who feels safe to you. Notice how you feel after the interaction.

And it’s also great to choose professionals to work with who are in ventral vagal. Your system will pick up on their state and your healing will go much smoother.

I would love to hear some of your stories of co-regulation. Have you noticed co-regulation in action in your own life? Share in the comments.

Disclaimer: It’s not always possible to find someone to co-regulate with. And dependent on your nervous system state, reaching out to someone might feel like too much of a big step. Like many things in life, there is nuance to this.