Co-regulation is key to healing

Co-regulation = your nervous system can link-up to the nervous system of someone who is safe and who is fairly regulated themselves. 

It can work both ways. You can also link-up with others who are dysregulated, which is not a good source of support. 

In the personal development industry we see so many suggestions of working on ourselves alone. 

“You must self develop” 
“You must change your own narratives”
“You must do it yourself.” 

And of course this can be true. We are the only ones who can change our own lives and perspectives. 

Personal change is an individual journey, but we don’t have to walk it alone. 

As Polyvagal theory teaches us, we are built for connection and our nervous systems need others’ nervous systems. 

We are not born with a fully developed nervous system. From the word go, in our early development, we need our caregivers to protect and connect with us, to help us develop a felt sense of safety and resilience within our bodies. 

In healing it’s the same. We cannot do it alone. Without good co-regulation and guidance we end up lost and frustrated. 

If your system doesn’t know safety, specially if this lack is coming from an early developmental phase, it will need to be taught through resonance (non verbal communication) and resonance is only possible with co-regulation. 

If you are going to “rebuild” your nervous system, teaching it to feel safe again, you need another safe nervous system walking alongside you on the journey. 

If you feel ready for this type of work, please check my website for options to work together towards more regulation, safety and capacity.