Healing is not about avoiding pain

“I will be happy when I’m fully healed”

“I will finally succeed when I’m not in a state of freeze.”

“I will feel better once I have a secure attachment style”

Giving ourselves these lofty goals will only put more pressure in the nervous system.

The nervous system cannot heal under pressure.

Existence in itself is painful, because we live with the certainty of death. We will always have this existential angst. Some of us more than others, dependent on temperament.

Instead of trying to avoid pain by trying to control the outcomes of your healing, focus on the simplicity of life. Get in tune with the rhythms of your nervous system on a daily basis and get to know your own window of tolerance.

One day at a time.
One step at a time.

As for the existential angst, that is a theme for a longer discussion. And that in itself seems like another lofty goal that can add more anxiety and stress. It certainly plagued me for decades.

So, for now, learn to track the patterns of your nervous system, get in touch with your window of tolerance. And don’t forget to notice the beauty of life and its everyday miracles.