The real meaning of survival strategies and why we need support in trauma resolution work

Aloneness and lack of support is one of the aspects of trauma. And because your whole system is built to survive you eventually figure out a way to cope with what you have been through. The psyche and body try to make sense of it and develop survival strategies to keep you going.

This is the true reason of having survival strategies. So when you struggle with an unhealthy behaviour or habit that is difficult to break, keep in mind that this is a survival strategy formed at some point in your life in order to help you carry on, despite the lonely experience of having gone through trauma.

This in itself is a good reminder for self compassion. These habits were created in the first place to keep you safe and functional at some level. How clever is your system! That’s why in this work we don’t fight these strategies, instead we gently “update” them. They are like a software program that is outdated.

Dr Peter Levine, the creator of the Somatic Experiencing method (SE), often says:

“Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness.”

For this reason doing trauma work alone is often unfruitful.

• Firstly, your body won’t resolve deep trauma/s when the conditions are not conducive.
An empathetic witness, fully present and with a regulated nervous system is one of these conditions.

• Secondly, the body won’t “release” what it needs to let go of without the support of someone who knows how to guide you gently through the incomplete fight/flight/freeze/shutdown responses “trapped” in your system.

• Thirdly, we humans were built for connection. If you look back, many instances in your life that could have been classed as trauma weren’t traumatic. Simply because at the time you had support. A caregiver or a trusted friend who were there for you, making the whole experience palatable, helping you move through it.

A very common survival strategy is to push through trying to resolve things by yourself. “I can cope with this. I don’t need help.”

But when it comes to true long lasting results in healing, support is imperative. We need each other in our journeys.